Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Other Side of Barrenness Part One

My husband, Sunny, and I were married for a year before we began 'trying' to conceive a child. Of course, we naively assumed we would get pregnant right away and our little family would begin growing. Five was the number for us. We were going to have five and that was that...only 'that was that' didn't turn out at all like we'd planned.

We weren't too worried at first, and, after beginning to study and ask questions, we realized that sometimes it does take a little time. So we...ummmm...'did our thing' at the appropriate times just like the books suggested and waited...and waited...and waited! And prayed...and prayed...and prayed! Months passed, then several years.

{I will insert here that there is a gamut of emotions a woman goes through when she struggles with infertility, the biggest one being feelings of inadequacy as a woman. Totally normal feelings.}

After a couple of years of being unable to conceive, I began having feelings of resentment towards God--why have You passed me by? towards other moms--do you always have to talk about your kids? and even towards my husband--what? you're too tired tonight?!! (Oh, that's the woman's line, right?!)

Then one day as I was praying, the Lord so tenderly and graciously spoke to my heart. He is such a God of Hope, isn't He? Psalm 128 came to my mind. When I opened the Bible to this passage, I knew it was the Lord encouraging me. Verses 3 and 6 especially spoke to me:

"Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house, thy children like olive plants around about thy table...  Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel."

Of course, I thought that meant WAM! BAM! BOOM! I was going to get pregnant next month! I wrote that down and stuck it on my fridge.  However, it didn't happen that way...BUT...I decided this time, I wasn't going to wallow in self-pity or get resentful towards anyone, especially my God. I was going to believe what He had promised and leave the timing up to Him.

It still took another couple of years. One day, we decided to go ahead and begin seeking out a fertility specialist. We weren't exactly in a position financially to go the whole route medically, but we thought at least we could get the ball rolling. We were living in northern Texas at the time. The closest fertility clinic was Oklahoma City and appointments were six weeks or so out.

Little did I know that as I was making that appointment I was PREGNANT! HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY! How excited I was to be able to call back a few weeks later and tell them we wouldn't be needing their services thankyouverymuch!

At home on November 30, 1987, and after five and a half years of 'trying' our Chelsie Jo was born. She was born on her paternal great-grandparents 62th wedding anniversary at the very hour they were married!  She was in the making 62 years before!

Chels is 20 now. She has been such a joy in our lives and such a love for the Lord, it amazes me!  We are so thankful for God's blessing to us!

It's All CHELSIE Good!


  1. That's a great story of hope and God's timing. Thank you for sharing it. I'm sure other women who are out there struggling will find hope in you experience.

  2. It's often hard to let go of the control (that we never really had anyway) and allow God to work His plan in His timing. Your story is a wonderfula example of God's plans for our lives - to give us a hope and a future, to prosper us!


  3. Your story will bring a lot of hope to a lot of women. And like Nadine, it is on God's timing. I had the same sort of struggle with having children. I know the feelings and emotions attached. It did all work out for us as well. And I can always look back and see the reasons and the whys I had to go through it and when the times were right. We are so blessed with such a wonderful and caring God. I love your scripture as well. Mine was Psalms 113:9

  4. I enjoyed your story. For some getting PG is so easy and I know it must make some people envious. I remember reading a story many years ago about Abe Lincoln. The comment was made, "She must have gotten pregnant the minute Abe laid his pants on the end of the bed". This may not be of interest to you at all, but I have thought of that little line many times over the years and again this a.m. so I had to share it. YOUR GIRLS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND A BLESSING. CONNIE

  5. I am so glad things worked out. Its hard to be in Gods waiting room sometimes.

  6. That is such a wonderful story. A chapter in your life that was hard for a while, but just look what God has done!!

    Chelsie Jo Is gorgeous. My mom's name is Jo and she went to Chelsie High School. Cool, huh?

    I am adding you to my Christian Bloggers Blog Roll. It takes me a while to do Blog roll upkeep for some reason!!

    Be blessed.


  7. great story and a testimony of God's work and His will... Emmy is a miracle baby herself.. I had went to have dye flushed in my tubes to see if I could have a baby. They told me that I was completely blocked...well they cleaned me out when they flushed my tubes...and we have Emmy.

  8. Hi Brenda,
    Thanks for sharing that very private aspect of your lives. My SIL has two adoptive children, not able to conceive, they are 14 and 3. Poor thing, LOL, she has a teenager and a toddler but she is a trooper. Can't wait to hear the rest of your story.

    LeAnn :)

  9. God is good, and sometimes His plan involves waiting...and waiting...and waiting on Him and His timing.

    So glad to know a bit of your story. I look forward to part II.

  10. I loved that story about waiting on God and HE is FAithful. Your girls are beautiful, when do we get to see a picture of their MOM?
    I'm sure this is a great testimony to someone who is wating now!
    Be Blessed:o)

  11. Hi, Brenda, and thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I, too, have been in "God's waiting room" as Valarie so aptly put it.

    We've managed to keep a pretty good 'tude about it, and at this point in our lives, if we got knocked up, you'd probably have to LOCK us up -- in the funny farm!

    Not really, of course, but we'd be in our sixties before the kid fledged the nest... :-O

    Thank you for sharing your inspirational story, and I look forward to reading the rest.

    Warmly, Ronda

  12. Good evening Brenda, what a wonderful story with a great outcome of your beautiful daughter..Our youngest granddaughter , Olivia, was born 3 months ago on our 40th anniversary..a great gift and a great joy for us all...hugs, Baba

  13. Wow that is an excellent story! I too am wondering if I am barren, but I have a laproscopy scheduled for the 20th where I'll find out. Thanks for the encouraging words and hope!!

    Happy MOTHER'S Day!!!

  14. Hey, Brenda, I knew your story and it still makes me want to cry. I can empathize with the feelings of inadequacy (although in somewhat different circumstances of course). You are my special and only sister and I know that Chelsie and Grace will always have a special sister love and connection even with the age differences. As Adults age doesn't mean a thing. I wish I could have shared some of my many with you and yet, even I only had 2 birth children when I wanted many just like you. Continue to feel blessed and happy that you were able to be patient and now you have 2 of the most beautiful little ladies to be your blessings in life. Amber sure is mine.

  15. 20 (and a half!!) years later and I finally hear the whole story. I was just thinking about what it would be like if you would've had me when you first started trying..dang I'd be old!! God's timing is perfect and as hard as that is for me (or us) to understand at times, it's all going to work out perfectly. Just know...I'm going to miss you so much when you move. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I am so blessed to have you as my mom and best friend.
    I love you.
    Chesila (how do you spell that anyway?)

  16. I hadn't met you in May when you wrote this. Glad you gave the links today. Now I'm going to read
    Part 2.


Thanks for taking the time to visit with me. I enjoy your comments very much. :)