Wednesday, April 21, 2010

SO! Moment MIL edition

My mother-in-law (we'll call her SHE) is a dear, albeit feisty, 81-year old woman. She is very active in her church and is quite the socialite whether she is eating out nearly every day with her gal pals or running into the city (70 miles round trip) for groceries, Dr. appts. or her COPD monthly meeting.

In other words, her calendar is full. And SHE loves it.

About a year ago, a widower calls her. We'll call him HE. HE is an old classmate SHE grew up with. SHE hasn't been in contact with HE since waaaayyyy back when. HE is coming from Oregon to visit his son and would like to stop by and visit SHE. Well, why not? she says. HE comes over and they drive into the city for dinner. They enjoy their long visit catching up on each other's lives and such.
HE is lonely. SHE is not.

The next time HE knocks on her door unexpectedly, he comes in and in the course of their visit insinuates that they might pursue something more than a friendship.
SHE informs HE that she is not interested in anything other than a friendship.

HE goes back to Oregon.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. (SHE hasn't seen nor heard from him in 9 months.)
HE knocks on the door again, unexpectedly, and is invited in.

HE has only one thing on his mind (and it's not a nice little chat).
{the nerve}
SHE says NO (and it's not a nice little chat)!
HE leaves.
A week later HE knocks on the door.
HE wants SEX!
SHE says NO!
{Sheesh, get a clue buddy}
Being a former realtor, SHE is meeting a man who is interested in buying the motel in town.
And, as fate would have it, here HE comes again. This time HE seems to have cooled off some, and they are having a nice little chat, but before long HE again tells her that he'd like more than just a friendship.

SHE grabs him by the arm and drags him in to look at her calendar.

SHE: Look at my calendar.
HE: Why would I want to do that?
SHE: I want you to see that my life is full and I enjoy it. See? I even have an appointment in about 15 minutes. You're going to have to leave now.
HE: Where are you going?
SHE: (unwittingly) I am going to meet a man at the motel.
HE: (looking perplexed) How long are you going to be gone?
SHE: (again, unwittingly) As long as it takes.

HE hasn't come back.
It's All BWAAHAHAHH! Good!


  1. Dang, does he own a Viagra mine or what?!? And at their age...I'm almost speechless, especially since they're not married. I really thought the swingin' singles thing would be gone by the wayside by that time of life. :-/

    *My word verification for this comment is "cavaling". o.O

  2. I can tell I would like her - she sounds like a lot of fun!

  3. Thank the Lord for full calendars! Wow, now that's a story!

  4. Funny.

    I don't think it would "do" for her to teach Jr. High all day - - - they "put" these kinds of words in my mouth ALL THE TIME.

  5. The nerve of that old coot coming around thinking she's going to drop everything like he's some kind of wonderful. Good for her.
    Love the irony at the end. So funny.

    ♥ Joy

  6. I am speechless! I was just waiting for you to tell us this was a joke...ha ha. But reality! Oh my goodness!

  7. Oh this is priceless!!!! You ought to submit this to Reader's Digest or somewhere. Made my day!!!

  8. Hilarious!...and you write the story so well. I am happy you visit my blog so that I don't forget you. I will come back for more later.

    I love the pictures of your lovely girls.

  9. a scary kind of way! Hopefully he won't be back. Maybe you should get her a can of MACE for Mother's Day! Sounds like he doesn't take NO for an answer.

  10. Just goes to show that "those" men will always be "those" men!
    Guess they just don't ever grow up.

  11. Could it be that my friend Brenda has a MIL as smart and sassy as she is? Yes, I think she does.

    Sounds like HE has idle hands. Glad SHE isn't willing to keep him busy.

  12. Since I know this wonderful 'SHE', I can see her doing all of the above and end the end feeling on toop of the world for her ability to put HE in his place (although 'unwittingly'. Love it!

  13. that poor poor tormented man>>>i can't stop and think of your mother in law right now>>>that poor poor old toremented old man

  14. Cute, cute, cute! Your MIL sounds like a riot and yes, fiesty!

    SHE needs to stop opening up the door for HE. HE's too persistent, and a little scary!

  15. Oh how I love hearing this story! What a riot! Sure do wish I could meet SHE!

    What in the world is up with HE?

    Thanks for much needed chuckles tonight, Brenda! I can always count on you.

  16. Unbelievable! Thank the Lord he didn't push the issue and take over. Wow.

  17. Me again - re your comment. We got a few flakes here and there, off and on, with a little sun mixed in. Nuts! But nothing stayed around. Sunny this morning, with weird forecast. I'm ready for some non stop sunshine. We'll see.

    But my granddaughter was totally psyched to get to CS Friday afternoon and stay in a hotel with a pool with her Bible quiz mates. I feel her excitement was more for the swimming pool than the quiz, but that's understandable at age 7, I guess! Anyway, they had to call off the whole thing because kids were coming from the western slope and all over and Monument Hill was just too iffy, not to mention the passes! They're supposed to come next week instead. Again, we'll see!

    Have a great week!

  18. What a great post! My goodness...HE is a feisty one isn't he...good for her...putting HE in his place.

    What a joy to read!
    Joyce Marie

  19. Loved this! Thanks for sharing it!

    God bless you - Julie

  20. Made me laugh all over again Brenda. Poor Putz.. is he a HE also?? Guess he's sympathetic with all lonely old HE's.


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