SO! Moment Gardening Edition

I have started a garden.  It's a tire garden.  UGLY tire garden.  I have double-stacked 2 rows of 5 tires, filled them with dirt and old cow ucky-pucky, and they have been ready and waiting for my starter plants I have growing indoors--zucchini, cucumbers, carrots, green beans, green onions and 2 kinds of peppers. 
I started them indoors a few weeks ago.  The zucchini and cukes thrived and grew way faster than I anticipated.  I had to replant them in little larger container.  They still kept growing until they began to fall over.  I didn't know what to do except to go ahead and plant them outside in a couple of the tires.  By now you've probably already made a simple assessment--LOSER  she has no clue what she's doing!
SO!
Day before yesterday I did exactly that.  I planted my Zucchini and Cukes.  They looked good.  Didn't seem to be experiencing replanting shock.  Then the wind came up and it got really cloudy.  So I covered the tires with plastic trash bags for protection.  I went out a little later when the sun came out and they were really looking sorry.  I took off the plastic bags and hoped for the best.
Yesterday, we had to go to Denver to pick up Chels from the airport.  On the way we got our first Reverse 911 call saying that our area was under severe rain, wind and hail warning.  Wouldn't you know it?  We haven't had hardly a drop of spring rains yet.  Later my MIL called and said we had quarter-sized hail.
I have three words:  SMITH ER REENS
Did I mention I'm planting a garden this year?  I have plants growing in my house and I'm going to plant them in my tires I have ready outdoors........
I leave you with a little ditty I wrote and when my garden does thrive in spite of the gardener I will post pictures.
Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With Firestone and Michelin...
Ugly tires all in a row!

It's All Hail is Not Good Good!
Brenda