Wow, Jenn, you're making me go pretty far back!
What age did you allow Chelsie to:
a) wear make up
Have you ever had to address hard issues like weight, clothing choices, and attitude?
Does there ever seem to be any competition between your girls for your time or attention?
First off, we've tried to base all of our decisions on the Christ-like values we live by, but at the same time tried not to 'sweat the small stuff'. I believe that's the 11th commandment, isn't it?!
Let's see, if I recall correctly, Chels started wearing makeup around 12 or 13. It doesn't stand out as a big deal like, "You can wear makeup when your 13 and no sooner"! It was probably more like a special dress-up event for her that I just decided to let her have a little more sparkle.
With dating, I think we had agreed on 16. Again, with Chels, it wasn't a big deal. We just felt, maturity-wise, 16 seemed ok. I will insert here that Chels never wanted to get into the dating game. I know these aren't 'heavy, deep, and real' answers, but that's just how it went with her.
One thought I've always remembered came from a friend who was raising her first teenager. She told her daughter, "This is the first time you are a teenager, and this is the first time I am the mother of a teenager. Let's do this together."
Concerning weight: YOU TALKIN' TO ME?!
Fortunately, our 'genes' haven't required us to have to deal with weight issues with our girls. But at the same time, being aware of the extreme obesity rate among children, I have tried to stay educated and make it a point to prepare meals and snacks that are healthy. Junk foods and drinks are not a staple in our home. Key words 'in our home'! I'm definitely not an extremist. Get me on a road trip, with a Dr. Pepper and some Dori*tos and I'm happy--swollen, but happy! (ok, I'm working on it.)
Modesty is one area that I have always been adamant about. My all-time favorite quote-- "Right is right even if no one is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it"--fits perfectly here. The media and many other sources has successfully duped young ladies into thinking that dressing provocatively makes them beautiful and more 'fetching'. I tried to instill in Chels that she could dress fashionably yet modestly without looking prudish (sp.? is that even a word?!).
What teenager doesn't pick up a 'tude' at some time or another. Teaching kiddos to be respectful at an early age and maintaining this attitude will help them immensely. One of my biggest peeves is when young parents make the mistake of laughing and encouraging disrespect in their young children because it's 'cute'. Then they wonder why they're having respect problems when they're older. Go figure. Also, instilling in them that disrespectfulness, no matter who or where the attitude has come from be it school, church, neighborhood etc., will not be tolerated. Ok, getting off that bandwagon now before the horses start galloping away!
As for competition between Chelsie and Grace, I will have to say there hasn't been. The 13-year age difference has played a big part in that. But what amazes me, is that they can still scrap with the best of 'em, even with the age difference! Now that I think of it, I guess that is a form of competition, duh! They are completely opposite in every way--except for mint chocolate chip ice cream!
Thanks, Jenn. With some of your questions I had to really jog my memory. I even had to ask Chels!
Mistakes will be made, so never be afraid to apologize to your kids. It's not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you're real.
Next up: Patty and Maxine Asked
It's All Grace of God Good!